Something scarey this way comes...

Friday was the last day of school. All week long I have dreaded this day. Not for the reason's you might think. I actually enjoy having my kids home for the summer. I have dreaded THIS last day of school more than any other because my boys are no longer elementary kids.

Next year they start middle school and I am terrified.
First of all, because they are growing up to fast. Second, they are on to new and different experiences, some good and some bad. It's the bad that has me scared. Jayce and Alek are so smart and so ready for this next chapter. They are excited to move on to "teenagerhood". I, however, am struggeling with it. So much, that I actually ALMOST home-schooled them next year. After many restless nights, many long prayers, and much counceling with Grant, I decided I was taking their right away from them to become mature, responsible adults, and that I was hindering them by not allowing them to have these new experiences that are about to come their way. In essence, I would have controlled their every move. Not allowing them to grow and have the life experiences they will recieve and that they will need so they can teach their own children. And though "the bad" that they will have the pleasure of seeing each day in the halls scares the you know what out of me, I have come to the realization that they need to experience the bad so that they will know the good, and be able to choose for themselves which way they want to go.

Grant and I have taught them, we have bared my testimony to them, Grant gives them blessings, and we express often to them Heavenly Father's love for them, and that he has a plan for them. It is up to them to choose the right, and be an example.

A friend once told me that if I shelter my kids TO much that I deprive those around them the chance to see the example they will set. And by doing so I deprive those around them from feeling our Heavenly Father's love.

Jayce and Alek both are such amazing boys. I will struggle this coming school year, but I hope to also grow.

I don't know why I let myself freak out like this, but these are my children and they are about to enter a world that I prayed they wouldn't ever have to see. BUT, like I keep telling myself, how will they KNOW to choose the right if they never see the bad. It just sucks, that's all!

When I had Jayce and Alek, I never pictured them above the age of 5. I guess that was just wishful thinking. Now they are 11 and will recieve the priesthood in about 2 1/2 months. I don't know how to be a mom to teenagers.

I guess when it boils down to it, it's not the boys going to middle school that REALLY scares me. I think it's ME and my inabilities that REALLY scare me.

Thankfully I have awesome parents and in-laws that have been through this that I can rely on for advice. Most importantly I have a Heavenly Father who help me guide my children to safety.