Dear me...

F.Y.I. ...This post is a little bit long and mostly for me...sorry!!!
Lately it seems as though life has been throwing a lot of curve balls. I have been surprised at how well I have been able to keep up! Then tonight as I was sitting here watching TV, I realized that all I am doing is keeping up. I'm not doing anything extra, I'm not striving to do anything better, I'm not going above and beyond. I am simply sailing by. I don't want to just "get by". So I am re-committing myself to being a better wife, a better mom, a better sister, a better daughter, a better friend, and a better example, A BETTER ME.
So I asked myself, how can I achieve this? This is what I came up with.
1. Be more patient with my sweet, amazing husband and wonderful children.
2. Tell those I love that I love them more often.
3. Call my family more often just to see how they are doing.
4. Listen!!!
5. Be less judgmental
6. Be more forgiving
7. Be the kind of friend that I would want to have.
8. No more carrying grudges. (It's to exauhsting)
9. Be more thoughtful.
10. Read my scriptures more faithfully.
11. Remember my morning AND evening prayers.
12. Fulfill my church calling with a little more dedication.
13. Exercise a little bit more often.
14. Be a little more forgiving of myself.
15. Remeber that no matter what trials I have been handed, I will never be given more than I can handle. And if I am having a tough time handling it I can always turn to my Heavenly Father for help.
And that's pretty much it. The list seems a little bit long, but I think I can handle it. I like lists. I am a "to do list" kind of girl. It gives me a challenge and helps me to stay on track.
I hope to notice changes with in myself. I hope to feel like I am going above and beyond what life expects. I don't want to leave this life and be known for not going the distance. I want to be known for smiling when life gave me a challenge, and being thoughtful and kind. I have a lot of work to do, but I know I can do it. Life is good. I am blessed WAY beyond what I deserve. I have 2 of the most adorable children known to man, I have the most supportive, sweet, kind, loving husband a girl could ask for. I really have a great life. I love it and I am going to enjoy it.
The End...

Happy Birthday Jayce and Alek

12 years old...
I can't believe 12 years ago today I met my boys for the first time!
August 10, 1998 was a whirlwind of a day. I went into labor at 12:01, 10 weeks earlier than expected. Nervous and scared we packed up and left for the hospital. When we got there the nurses and staff weren't really sure what to do. They called my doctor, and he came in to check me, he looked at me and said these guys are going to be little and they will have a rough start. Baby A is stressed and his heartbeat is fading in and out. Baby B is breach but doesn't seem to be stressed. The doctor gave us a few options. He said we could stay at Alta View Hospital and hope for the best, or we could be transferred to U of U hospital where they were a little more equipped to handle premature babies. We left the decision up to Dr. Larsen as we felt he knew best. He decided to call life flight to have them on hand just in case anything went wrong but he felt confident that he and the hosptial staff could handle their births.
After 14 1/2 hours of labor Jayce was born. He was so beautiful. He was wide eyed and content. He didn't cry, he just looked around at his new surroundings. I got to look at him for just a minute then they whisked him away to make sure he was healthy. A few minutes later Dr. Larsen explained that Baby B was more breach than he expected and was being very stubborn. He had to literally pull Alek out. He was born feet first, face up and not breathing. He was purple and lifeless. I didn't get to see him but Grant said it was very scarey. The nurses were all quiet while the doctor's worked on Alek. It seemed like an eternity. Finally I heard them say he is breathing, then I heard a tiny little whimper, then they whisked him away too! Because of his condition I didn't get to see him until he was almost 2 hours old.
Jayce was 3 lbs 11 oz born at 2:33 p.m. and Alek was 5 lbs 3 oz born at 2:38 p.m. Only 5 minutes apart.
Shortly after they were born, Alek was diagnosed with Hyaline Membrane Disease and a broken left clavical. It was decided that he would be better treated at Primary Children's and that he needed to be placed on life support to sustain him. It was heart-wrenching. When Alek was 8 hours old he was hooked up to a life support machine and life flighted to PCMC. I had to say goodbye to him without ever getting to hold him. Jayce was as healthy as could be, but iddy bitty! So he stayed at Alta View with me. Five days after they were born I was released from the hospital. Jayce had to stay because he was struggeling with keeping his body temperature up.
Grant and I drove up to PCMC as fast as we could. When we got there Alek was hooked up to all sorts of machines, but the doctors re-assured me he was doing great and that if all went well he would be off life support with-in a day or two. Alek surprised everyone and was taken off life support the next day! He's a fighter! I was finaly able to hold him.
After many long days in the hospital's Jayce and Alek both came home. It was a happy day.
Now 12 years later, it's hard to believe that they had such a hard start in life.
I am so proud of you Jayce and Alek. I can't believe you are 12. I love you! Happy Birthday!

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