10 Years...

Today is a milestone for me and my family. I still remember with great detail the events that took place on this very day 10 years ago. My brother Jared lost his battle with cancer. My heart still aches to hear him, or see him, even if for just one second. I can't believe how the time has gone by so quickly.
I didn't think it would ever be possible to fill the void in my heart that Jared left when he died. I couldn't believe that someone could leave such a void simply by not being there. I never thought it possible to think about Jared and not break down into tears. How can it be that I haven't seen my brother in 10 years? Is it possible that time REALLY does heal all wounds? NO, it isn't possible!! Although time helps, it is not the cure. KNOWING I will see Jared again...that's the cure! I can't deny what I felt and how I felt the night Jared passed away. I was so heart broken, yet I was also comforted. I knew the Lord would never give me more than I could bare, even though at the time it seemed as though I couldn't go on. As the days passed I realized that I wasn't the only one to have lost a loved one. I became very aware of the Atonement, and suddenly more grateful for the Atonement.
I am so grateful for the time that I had with Jared. I am thankful for the memories that I have and that the Lord has allowed me to hold onto them.
Loosing my brother, to date, has been the most difficult thing that I have had to endure. It changed my life. But it changed me for the better. How could anything good ever come out of loosing someone I love so much? I have asked myself this question so many times. I even feel a little guilty at times for being so happy. But then again, isn't that what the Lord wants? For us to be happy? Even through heart ache and pain, it is possible to be happy!!! The Lord will provide a way if you let him!

So, here I am. 10 years later...and HAPPY! Who knew?!?

I miss you always Jared, and I love you forever!!!

Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree...

We cut our Christmas tree down this year. We went to Ashely National Forest and found the perfect tree, then chopped the sucker down. Now it sits beautifully in my living room. I love looking at it knowing that we found and cut it down. It was a fun adventure for our family. We thought it would be more cold than it was, to our surprise it was just right.

Our friends Susan and Walter and their dog Frankie came with us and cut their tree down too. Afterwards we went to the Flaming Gorge Lodge for hot chocolate and fries.

As far as perfect days go, this day is in my top 10!

Thanksgiving...

We had a fantastic Thanksgiving. We saw both our families and were able to play and have fun. The food was great, and the fun, well I wish it wouldn't ever end. But sadly it did. We did play hard though, and I loved every second of it. I can't wait to do it all again!

Our family visited Temple Square before we left. It was so nice to see all the lights and the beautiful surroundings at Temple Square. The boys loved it, Grant hated it! But he hates big crowds, so I can't blame him, he did it with a smile on his face and even pretended to enjoy himself from time to time. It really was fun, and we were able to teach our boys and bare testimony to them of the Christmas spirit and what Christmas was really all about! I loved it!

Sisters...

I have four sisters and I love them all to death. On Thanksgiving we were so lucky to be all together. When we get together we always laugh and giggle. Then when it comes time to leave we all boob and cry.

I can't wait to see them all again! Until then I have this picture to remind me what a bunch of goobers we are.

We were all making (or trying to make) beaver faces. Marissa had a hard time with this. Bless her little heart! We still love her!

New Moon...

I know many of you think I am crazy, so I won't bore you with the details! I just wanted to post some pictures of all the fun we had, which is why I enjoy it so much!